Monday, March 20, 2006

Reflections

A girl I went to school with died last Thursday. She overdosed on sleeping pills, but no one is sure if it was accidental or intentional. I suspect it was intentional, because she still seemed very upset about her brother's suicide a few years ago. There is also a rumor that she had miscarried a pregnancy and was very depressed about it. Either way, I know of 4 parents (two bio and two step) that must be devastated by the loss of their second child.

As I reflected last night on the events that may have led her to do what she did, I started feeling really guilty, because as she was dying, I was worried about birthday cakes and party plans.

She and I weren't close. I don't know why I felt guilty. It isn't like I could do anything to change her mind and I think it was very egotistical of me to pretend that I could. And why should I feel guilty for worrying about our celebration of life? My daughter was having her first birthday party. She has a long future and lots of hope ahead of her.

So Trina makes #6 out of our high school class that is gone from this world. It makes me want to gather up those I love and hold them tightly and not let go.

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